Not While I'm Around
by ithinkyourewonderful
Summary: A companion to 'Watch the Stars', Emma and Regina have different ideas about what an unspoken understanding is while they're aboard The Jolly Roger. Regina fights to avoid thoughts of just how they were able to stop the destruction of Storybrooke.
1. Chapter 1

Not While I'm Around

By ithinkyourewonderful

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Disclaimer: Not mine, never was, never will be...Borrowed lyrics from The Velvet Underground and Stephen Sondheim.

Rating: PG-13 (Language)

Summary: A companion to 'Watch the Stars', Emma and Regina have come to an unspoken understanding aboard The Jolly Roger on their way to Neverland.

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She has taken to asking questions in the dark of the room at night because she can't sleep and she can't get up.

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Well, she can but she's too lazy to.

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So she stays in bed and pulls the thin blanket up to her neck and asks questions of the woman on the bunk below. She doesn't get a response. She doesn't expect one. She wishes she could read Regina better, after their conversation on the deck, but she can't. Something changed, yes, but it's still this weird, gross place of walking on eggshells, both of them, to avoid each other. Regina now wordlessly offers her a seat on deck, or will grab a rigging rope before it slips from her hands, but she won't talk to her, not if she doesn't have to.

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So Emma continues to ask questions into the dark room from her perch on the top bunk. "Did you sing to Henry?"

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She knows Regina's awake because she can hear the other woman's breath catch.

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"I'll take that as a yes." Emma mutters. "What did you sing to him?"

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"I... I don't remember." Regina manages to whisper out, turning on her side to face the wooden wall. She presses her hand against it to stop from blurting out the truth - all the truths. To keep the words and the songs and the sounds and smells and every memory within her. She wants to keep them hers as long as she can. "Liar." Emma teases, trying to whack her with her pillow from the top bunk, but catching nothing but air.

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"Good night Miss Swan."

"Good night your highness."

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Regina's eyes can make out her hand, it's not hard with the light from the stars and the moon coming through the porthole (even if the glass is filthy and grimy) - she can only wonder why it all comes back down to her hands. With Daniel, it was all about her smile - it was his favorite part of her, and she had never known anyone who could make her smile as he did. With Miss Swan, it was about her hand, one on the other on the railing, or outstretched together to stop the diamond, or even now - watching her hand turn whiter and whiter as she pressed it against the wall.

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Emma Swan isn't dumb - at least not really - Regina thinks to herself. She's slow to pick up the subtleties of her Fairy Tale heritage - but she's not dumb. She was smart enough to break her curse, wasn't she? It was only a matter of time until she was able to put one and one and get the truth about her, about them, and how their magic was able to stop the unstoppable.

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It was only a matter of time until the growing pressure from Regina's chest overwhelmed others as it overwhelmed Regina herself.

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"I sang to him, in my tummy, you know."

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Regina's thoughts are interrupted by Emma's confession.

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"It was cheesy, but I thought it would help him, you know... Remember me."

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No response.

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"I do believe in all the things you say..." Emma whispers into the dark, humming the simple melody. She feels like she's back where she started 11 years ago, alone and scared for her son, stuck in some small, dark and cold room with no help, no support, no comfort. She knew it was awful, but sometimes she wished Henry had left her in Boston, unaware of all of...this. Emma knew she wasn't the scared teenager she had once been - that she was now surrounded by family and...whatever you'd call Hook - but she was now a scared adult, and that's even worse. Nothing was supposed to frighten adults - that's what she told herself when she was growing up, but it turns out, she was wrong.

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"What comes is better than what came before..."

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Emma's words carry down to Regina's ears and Regina doesn't think she can take it anymore. The gentle words, the dull, aching pain that hasn't left her body since Greg's fun house torture experiment, the throb of her heart swelling and contracting simultaneously at missing her son and realizing the importance of her enemy above her, her...her Emma truly means. Many people assumed Regina had no emotions - that's what allowed her to do the truly evil things she had done, but the fact of the matter is, Regina had too many emotions and they were all coursing through her body, every single minute of every single day, of every single nerve. She had learned to hide it, bury it, kill it dead - until Greg broke something in her, she didn't let him know, but he was so close, so close to breaking her completely and wholly. As it was, he had broken the walls that she had built over the years to dull the emotions, slow them down from overcoming her all at once - but here on this boat, spending endless days and even longer nights they all came barreling down on her until she couldn't speak from the pain and confusion. Imagine, every emotion you had ever had in 45 years, just coming straight at you until you couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't do anything except pray you don't get carried along with the tidal waves of emotion that wash over you.

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"Doesn't anything scare you Regina?" The question was quietly asked, as if Emma herself was afraid of the answer. What could scare the monster we're taught to be afraid of?

"Yes."

"What?"

"I thought I said good night Miss Swan."

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There was some rustling and a thud of Emma landing from the top bunk onto the floor.

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"I can't sleep." Emma explains as Regina turns to face her.

"I know."

"Can I...stay with you?"

"How will that help?" Regina asks, sighing as she lifts the blanket up and allows the blond under with her, her back fitting in against the brunette's comforting front.

"I just figured if I couldn't sleep and you couldn't sleep... Why can't you sleep?"

"Goodnight Miss Swan." There was nowhere else for Regina to put her arm now that this already tiny bed held another occupant, so she gently laid it across Emma Swan's lap, hoping the other woman wouldn't notice. She did, however, linking their hands together and bringing it up to her chest.

"This is nice. This is better." Emma murmured, her voice already softer, sleepier.

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Regina didn't want to admit it, but it was...nice to have another person in her arms, to keep her warm, to keep her safe. Regina could feel her body settle into a more restful state with the onslaught of emotions slowing to a trickle - reminding her of the last time she had someone in her arm, when she felt this safe, this... Protected. It was odd, she had held Henry in her arms, but felt protected, as if he could keep away the very things she was afraid of. It was there and then that she promised Henry she would keep him safe when he was younger and she'd failed him.

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"Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around..." Regina whispered, blond hair muffling her voice.

"What?" Emma asked, half asleep.

"It's what I'd sing to Henry. Every night I'd remind him, 'Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around...'"

"It's pretty...We'll find him, soon, I can feel it." Emma whispered back, tightening her grasp on Regina's hand. "Sing it to me?"

"Only if you promise to sleep Miss-"

"Emma."

"Only if you promise to sleep...Emma." Regina sighed the name slowly, hoping her voice didn't betray the swell in her heart. She almost thought she felt... Emma's heart quicken beneath her hand as she said her name.

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She was too tired to think about the only type of magic strong enough to stop her unstoppable destruction.

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True Love.

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And if this was as close to True Love as she would get in her lifetime, she thought to herself as she finally fell asleep, holding the Savior as they sailed on an endless ocean to save their son. She would take it.

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Henry curled up on his side in the small hut and smiled at the moonlight coming in from the windows. There was no point in escaping, there was nowhere to go. But he could hear something on the wind that rustled the stars in the Neverland sky.

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His mothers were coming for him.

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He pulled the blanket up around his neck and hummed along to a song he could feel more than he could hear.

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His mothers were coming for him.

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	2. Chapter 2

Not While I'm Around

By ithinkyourewonderful

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Disclaimer: Not mine, never was, never will be...

Rating: PG-13 (Language)

Summary: Midnight wanderings of Emma Swan as she tries to avoid a certain Evil Queen.

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For the _third_ part, please see '**Fire and Reign**'.


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